im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
