yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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