oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
