she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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