everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
