I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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