he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
