So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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