im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
