love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
