Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
