that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize