my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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