Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
