A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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