There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
