you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Someone came in the potted fern
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.