I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies