I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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