I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
