found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
