Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
