I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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