My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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