When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
why do cheetos always look like penises
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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