Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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