girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
