Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
