Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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