i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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