Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize