We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
