Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
