Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
