So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
