I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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