Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there was a trapeze. enough said
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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