i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
