hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
