Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
