I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
