S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
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It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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