Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
