i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
