Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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