i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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