Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
