I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
