32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
