I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
