i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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