There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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