2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
