his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this just has baby written all over it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
