Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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