The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Are my feet made of real feet?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
