Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
