So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
