Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
