Yo dont text me then not text me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
