At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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