Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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