i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
