Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
